*Author's Note*
This wasn't a journal entry it was simply a counter to my attempt of a poem "Death". This just came to me as I wrote.
Water slowly rushes through the groups of cattails and sloshes along the banks. Fish swim through the crystal clear water swiftly. The small pebbles flow gently with the current. The sound of a stone being tossed in, disrupting the gentle sway of the water. The ripples move through out the patch of water where the stone plummeted while the fish scatter, greatly frightened at the possibility of death.
Down the stream even more, the frogs rest upon lily pads of many different sizes. The ribbit of the frogs bring an enchanting theme to the atmosphere. The amazing atmosphere of the stream being untouched by humans, of no buildings, of just peace.
This is a reall ycool scene. I think you should look at different ways to lay out the lines of the poem. I'd be happy to work with you on it if you'd like.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was very descriptive, and i could really get the picture in my head. I saw a few grammer errors but other than that nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good. It paints a really calm and relaxing picture in my head...Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI liked that journal a lot, it was very calming and peaceful
ReplyDeleteThat was really good. It puts a clear picture into the readers mind, and is kind of soothing. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could go there. It sounds so nice, and like summery. I could see the whole picture, nicee!
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